Halloween Muggle style
by wingnutdawn
Summary: Albus wants to experience a real muggle halloween. He wants to visit the Haunted house of Horror. Severus, Minerva, Harry. Hermione, Ron, the Weasley twins, Ginny, Neville and Draco Malfoy came with him as he had declared it to be a Halloween 'field trip'


Halloween Muggle style

Albus was excited as he spoke to Severus and Minverva about an idea he had for Halloween night.

They looked apprehensively at each other as from past experience they knew that the Headmasters Holiday ideas usually bode no good for them.

"Lets take the students on a field trip to see how Muggles celebrate Halloween." Albus said as the two heads of house stared in horror at him. "It will be a treat. "

"Headmaster, I don't think it advisable to have all the students mix in with the Non-magical Muggle children . It would be chaos." Severus blurted out.

"Well then we could select a few ... I know, how about the Weasley children, Neville Longbottom and Draco Malfoy as they are pure bloods who have never been in the muggle world and we could have Harry Potter and Hermione Granger come as they have grown up in the muggle world and can help us. that will only be eight children "

"Albus really, and just who do you think will be crazy enough to go..." She paused and realized that Albus was expecting them to go along with the group as chaperone's."Oh no..." she mumbled.

Snape looked askance at the Headmaster. "But you never celebrated a muggle Halloween eith..." His eyes went darker as he said. "You want to experience a Muggle Halloween yourself. That is why you want to take the students out."

Albus's baby blue eyes twinkled as a slight blush formed beneath his beard. "Well... yes, I would like to see what they do myself."

"I think we are going to regret this." whispered McGonagal.

"I already am." muttered Snape as he glared over at the portraits that were pretending to sleep.

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"And you say this is one time of the year we can actually go into the Muggle world dressed in our Robes and they wouldn't even notice?" asked Draco Malfoy who had been told by Professor Snape that he had no choice but had to come too. Snape had looked very tense as he explained that the Headmaster had been explicit as to which children he thought would benefit from the experience.

"That's right Malfoy." Harry said as he wondered himself as to why he was chosen to see how muggles celebrated Halloween. He never got to go out like Dudley did to collect candy for himself and anyway if he did it was a sure thing that the candy would be taken away from him and given to his fat cousin.

Neville was terrified as he clutched his glass of pumpkin juice and listened to the others talk among themselves. He would have been quite happy staying in the castle with the ghosts and other students having the traditional Hogwarts Halloween feast.

George and Fred looked at each other and asked again. "You mean to say that Muggles play tricks on each other at Halloween and it's all right with everybody?"

"Yes, little kids go about in disguise and go door to door doing what they call trick or treat." explained Hermione for the umpteenth time. "Adults even get dressed up and have parties with all sorts of gruesome yet fun Halloween themes."

"Sowhad kindofthingsdomugglesdothatwedon't?" asked Ron through a mouthful of food.

"Ron, Honestly swallow your food first, we can't understand a word you are saying." Ginny scolded her brother with an exasperated tone.

Ron swallowed his food and repeated "So what kind of things do muggles do that we don't?"

"Never mind for now Mr Weasley, your questions will be answered shortly." said a cold harsh voice behind them as the sullen looking figure of Professor Snape appeared behind them along with an unbelievably, equally Grim Minerva McGonagall.

"Come along now. We can't keep the Headmaster waiting." said McGonagall firmly. "He has a portkey to a place where muggles go all out when celebrating Halloween."

The street lights were coming on as crowds of children and Adults were walking up and down the street laughing and talking as the excited children dressed as Ghosts, Ghouls, Goblins, witches, Goblins, scarecrows and characters from tv and movies were raced from house to house gathering treats.

Quite a few homes were decorated to the hilt with all kinds of decorations including pumpkins that were carved into grotesque faces and lit up by candles, Ghostly looking sheets hanging from trees, coffins, skeletons and mock spider webs that moved slightly in the breeze. Headstones, lights that kept moving in such a way to make figures look as if they were flickering like ghosts as they walked by.

There were sounds of chains rattling, screams and Moans coming from several places that sounded creepy even to Malfoy though he wasn't going to admit it to the Griffindors.

This was the place that Albus had chosen for them to learn about muggles and how they celebrated Halloween.

"So what about the pranks?" said Fred and George. "Whoa , what was that?" they both yelled as something came bursting out of a closed coffin on one of the lawns and screams of delighted terror from the small children where heard. "Hey did you see that?" they asked.

Harry and Hermione laughed and the others looked at them strangely. "It was a muggle dressed in a black costume that has a florescent skeleton painted on it. The black part can't be seen in the dark but the skeleton can." explained Hermione.

"What do you suggest we do Headmaster? Stand here and look stupid? Or what?" asked Professor Snape as he glared around at the noisy well lit street.

"No Severus, we walk along observing the fun, and if I might suggest to our youngsters here, They can go door to door like the muggle children and collect candy." said Albus as he spotted a man dressed as Frankenstein's monster. "Oh wow see that guy?" he said excitedly as he pointed.

Harry said, "I think I'm a little too old to collect candy like a child." the others agreed . Albus then noticed a sign that said 'Haunted House of Horror, all those over the age of thirteen with stout stomaches welcome. ' He said "Well if you don't want to go trick or treating like those children, that haunted house sounds like fun.

"Hey, you guys must be new here." said a strangely bloodied looking 'corpse' with blood streaming down his face and one terribly mangled eye resting on his cheek. The Weasleys and Malfoy gazed in shock at the costumed man as they noticed there was also what appeared to be knives or swords stuck through his torso. "Come and enjoy the party."

"Oh wow I wonder how he managed to do that!" exclaimed Fred as he studied the muggle.

"Mum would freak out if she saw one of us looking like that." George said as they watched the bloodied man cheerfully turn and say in a hollow spectral sounding voice. "Follow me, I'm sure you will be very entertained with our Haunted house."

Albus motioned to them to come with him and they followed the fellow who was telling Albus that this years Haunted house of Horror was already proving to be the most entertaining one that they had in several years.

"I wonder how entertained he would be if he met the Bloody baron." whispered Draco to Neville as he looked at a group of children dressed in what appeared to be mummies, vampires, cats, and a creature that looked eerily like a werewolf.

"Look at them all, I wonder what scares muggles?" asked Neville whose eyes were wide with wonder as he saw the strangely clad muggle children running about gathering treats and laughing alone with some adults in fantastic costumes."Say there are a few wearing robes like us." he exclaimed as he noticed a few capes blowing in the slight fall breeze.

Albus was approached by some girls dressed as witches and asked if he was supposed to be dressed as Merlin. He told them that he was delighted that they could mistake him for such a famous wizard but he regretfully told them that Merlin died a long time ago.

Snape was behind them and he found that there were nervous glances cast his way from some muggle teenagers dressed as pirates, He glared at them and his lip curled into a sneer that caused them to back away and encourage the younger children with them to cross the street.

"Severus quit scaring the kids." yelped Minerva as she turned around and caught the terrifying Potions Master glaring and sneering at the muggle children who had crossed to the other side of the street and stared back at the black clad figure.

"Isn't that what Halloween is all about?" grumbled Severus as he turned back around and followed them toward the Muggles Haunted House of Horror.

Ron was ready to freak out and if it wasn't for Ginny and Hermione holding his arms tightly he would have ran screaming as several 'spiders came toward them. "Its just children dressed up that's all. They wont hurt you." hissed Ginny.

"Now that was a cute goblin." said Ginny as she pointed out a small five year old who was following a slightly larger child dressed in a pink fairy outfit. " Do Muggles think fairy's really look and act like that?"

"Yes they do." said McGonagall as she followed them with Snape who was ominously silent.

"Well here we are folks, do enjoy yourself said the bloody muggle when they arrived in front of a dilapidated old building with the signs that said 'Welcome to the haunted house enter at your own risk haning on the rickety old veranda hanging precariously around the house. He disappeared inside and Albus looked cheerful as he said ."Well lets go inside see what they have planned to amuse us."

Before they could walk in a hazy mist formed around them and and what appeared to be little furry rats and mice seemed to appear from under the ground and squeaked threateningly at them and bats that filled the dead looking trees were gazing at them with blazing red eyes. Ginny unconsciously clutched at Harry's arm as she looked about nervously. "This is how muggles celebrate Halloween?"

Harry put his arm around her and said "Don't worry I'm sure there is a reasonable explanation." He looked over at Ron as he said to himself "I hope."

Then a sound from the rickety old veranda and everyone turned to see what looked to be two black dressed forms dancing slowly to some eerie music before fading away.

"That was great." exclaimed Albus who grabbed and pulled Severus and Minerva by their robe sleeves toward the entrance. "I think this is going to be real fun."

"Well lets head in guys, it can't be as bad as what we have had to live when Voldemort was alive." said Harry as they watched the Headmaster pulling the obviously reluctant professors into the building.

They entered the house and were greeted by a hideous wolf like monster that snarled at them when it spotted them. Its mouth hadn't moved but its fangs that could be seen poking out of its mouth looked to be dripping blood, its eyes gleamed yellow as they narrowed into slits.

Snape fought down a familiar terrified feeling as images of a certain werewolf flitted across his mind. "Its just a muggle in a silly costume. Neither is there a full moon tonight." he told himself firmly and snarled back at the creature who jumped back and stared at him.

"I am your guide," said the fake Werewolf in a chillingly growlly voice. "Come along and see the sights and sounds that cannot be seen on any other night but All Hallows Eve."

Neville looked around nervously at the dimly lit room as they could hear the screams and nervous laughter from other groups who had proceeded into the House before them. The monstrous looking werewolf moved a clawed finger of his furry hand and pointed in the direction they were to follow him.

A man whose hands looked to be tied behind his back with what appeared to be a rope around his neck was glaring at them while standing on a platform. A hooded figure stood beside the gallows and pulled a leaver which caused the figure to drop through a hole in the platform and dangled at the end of the rope.

Everyone except Snape gasped in horror as they viewed what appeared to be a dead man swinging gently in front of them. His eyebrow rose slightly as he watched the gently swinging body. Neville had closed his eyes and fought to keep himself from puking and passing out.

"Don't be too concerned," snarled the muggle werewolf as he encouraged them to continue follow him. "I'm sure he will be up and ready to go through the trapdoor again in no time at all."

"Right," said Draco as he followed with everyone else. He paused and looked back to see the man was standing once again on top of the platform. His brow wrinkled as he wondered how that could be.

"Don't dawdle Malfoy," said Professor Snape, "come on."

"Yes sir I'm coming," He answered and with one more backward glance followed them. The boys jumped and ran forward as they heard both Ginny and Hermione utter a piercing scream of terror.

They skidded to a stop as they passed through some freezing cold air and saw a white coated man with twisted features obviously dining on that looked like a dissected corpse that laid atop a table dripping in what appeared to be drying blood. The Ghoulish fellow was munching with apparent relish upon a rib that he had wrenched from the corpse.

A large box that was standing partially open with a bloody wide eyed figure inside it which looked like its body was pierced by jagged points and its hands were quivering along while a pool of blood had formed on the floor.

Minerva was feeling a little queasy as she glared at Albus and pulled the girls close to her and wrapped a protective arm around each of them and she guided them slowly toward the rooms exit. Snape caught Longbottom as he staggered back and pushed him along with Harry toward the exit where their Guide was waiting with an anticipatory grin upon his drooling jaws.

They walked down a dim looking corridor that was filled with caskets that were haphazardly stacked up on top of each other with body parts hanging out of some of them. Sounds of ghostly moaning and screams of agony echoed throughout the building as the werewolf disappeared ahead of them. Spiders were dangling from dusty looking spider webs and Ron freaked as his brothers gleefully picked him up and carried him by the creatures as they described what each of the large hairy many legged creatures looked like.

Hermione was staring at the coffins as she was walking by and muttering something to herself that sounded like. "It isn't real, it isn't real, it's just a Halloween gag."

"This is really cool. For Muggles that is. Don't you think so Granger?" asked Draco as he reached out and touched one of the skeletal hands that was grasping in a reflexive manner . It gripped his wrist and he stared in horror as he twisted his wrist in an effort to pull free. It relaxed it's grip after about half a minute and Draco pulled his hand free. He fought down the urge to run past the rest of the grotesque exhibit as he rubbed his wrist and said "Oh wow I didn't expect that."

Hermione's eyes grew wide as Neville grabbed her shoulder in fear which caused another shriek. Neville stumbled back as he hadn't realized that he had grabbed her shoulder and he landed against a piece of bare wall, next to a skeleton that was hung from the roof in chains. He jumped away as the bony hands reached out and tried to grab him and a weird dim light shone through the grey dead orbs that passed as eyes. Minerva and Snape were both thinking about doing something to Albus for getting them into this predicament as they both calmed Hermione and Neville down.

"I never thought Longbottom would find anything that would terrify him worse than you Snape," quipped McGonagall. "But I think he just did."

"If there wasn't any chance of a muggle seeing anything I think I'd like to hex Albus, " muttered Severus as He managed to use wandless magic to calm Longbottom down.

Hermione's voice shook as she said. "I've never seen anything like this, I was expecting the simple scare tactics like putting ones hand in cold spaghetti or pealed grapes."

"Er, What are you talking about Granger?" asked Draco.

Neville looked confused as he also asked. "How can one be scared of cold spaghetti or grapes?"

"Cold Spaghetti are brains, Pealed grapes represented eyeballs..."

"That just sounds wrong," commented Draco as they walked the rest of the way down the corridor toward the room that Albus and the fake werewolf had disappeared into.

Meanwhile the twins set their brother down as they got past the spiders and Ron clutched the sleeves of their Robes as he cried out. "Please no more spiders. Anything but them."

"Oh wow a Guillotine," said Albus as they entered the next room. "I remember seeing one of those when I was younger."

"Great. Neat," said the twins as they viewed the hideous headless corpse on one side of the guillotine and the disembodied head twitching and glaring as its eyes blinked at them in the bloody basket in front. "I wonder how they got the eyes to do that?"

Minerva glanced over at Severus as he thought she heard him muttering something that sounded a lot like "Take a closer look, from the bottom."

"She leaned over and said. "If he does I get to drop the blade."

"Aw, come on, That's the fun part," whispered Severus as he watched the eight students gather together and stare curiously at the contraption. "Only thing is he would probably come back as a ghost and haunt the pair of us. Never mind imposing his weird sense of humour on us."

The kids where whispering among themselves.

"And muggles think this is entertaining?" asked Longbottom who was still trembling slightly.

"Yes, they do, kind of weird isn't it," said Hermione. "It can scare you even when you know it is all faked."

After they were done looking at everything in the room, the fake werewolf ushered them out of the room and into a dim room where he left them.

"I hope you kind visitors enjoyed your tour of my realm of death, " said a horrifyingly harsh voice and they viewed a dark black hooded figure which reminded them of a dementor carrying a scythe walk threateningly toward them.

"We certainly did," said Albus with a sigh of contentment while Severus and Minerva herded the eight teens toward what appeared to be a door leading to the outside and read the large sign beside it. ''You are now exiting the Haunted House of Horror, we hope you enjoyed your visit, please come again."

"Aren't you going to tell the Headmaster we are leaving?" asked Hermione.

"No, he can follow us on his own," McGonagall said firmly with a stern tone of voice. "I think we have seen enough."

"You don't want to go through another Halloween like this one again?" asked the twins. "That was fun, even if it was muggle made."

"We should have known that you two would think so," Ron said shakily."I didn't like those spiders. I know they were fake but I still didn't like them."

"I think I would choose to go door to door like those little muggles if I had to choose again." Neville said.

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"Are you sure it will work Severus? We don't want to kill him," said Poppy after she had gave the teens some dreamless sleep to prevent the nightmares that she was sure they would have after visiting that Muggle House House of Horror. "Honestly, what was he thinking."

"He will be fine." said Minerva grimly. "I think it is perfect justice.

"Won't be any worse than what he put us through," said Severus calmly."By the time we get back I am sure he will not think of trying another Halloween "field trip."

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Albus was shaking as the shape shifting boggart slipped out from under his desk and transformed into his greatest fear.

His wand arm shook terribly as he gathered his courage and tried his best to imagine something funny and use the charm 'Riddikulus.'


End file.
